I read an article recently that I found both sad and disturbing.

It was titled “You Can’t Be Fat And Happy” and claimed that exact point.

I find this to be a terrible message and feel compelled to write a rebuttal.  So here goes…

 

Full disclosure: I don’t know what it’s like to be overweight.  I especially don’t know what it’s like to be an overweight girl.  Rather than offer an opinion, and project my personal experiences onto others, I’m going to consider what the evidence has to say…

 

How to be happy 

According to the article, “Being clothed and fat is unhappiness”.  However, our external circumstances – including whether or not we label ourselves ‘fat’ – perhaps don’t influence our happiness as much as we’d expect.  In fact, one study suggests that lottery winners are no happier than paralysed accident victims^,[i].

Hard to believe, I know.  How can that be possible?

It’s possible when we discover the relationship with gratitude, well-being and overall satisfaction with life^{,[ii],[iii],[iv]}.  It’s possible when we note the relationship with acts of kindness and happiness^,[v],[vi].  How trying new things^,[vii] and being creative^,[viii] enhance our happiness.

Can a paralysed person practice gratitude?  Can they appreciate the little things in life?  Can they find joy in the mundane?  Can they be kind and creative?  Can they try new things?  Of course they can.

Can a ‘fat’ person do this?  No doubt.

 

 

Pleasure, engagement and meaning are what predict life satisfaction^,[ix].  Indeed, famed psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi developed his theory of flow^,[x] around the concept of engagement.  Flow is being ‘in the zone’, lost in the moment of a deep connection to our task.

“My studies have suggested that happiness depends on whether a person is able to derive flow from whatever he or she does.”  (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi^,[xi])

 

Can a ‘fat’ person experience flow?  No doubt.

I’m not suggesting happiness is easy.  We have to work at it like everything else.  But it’s easy to fool ourselves when it comes to what we think makes us happy.  Happiness tends not to come from externals – materialism has been consistently related to lower levels of life satisfaction^,[xii].

“He’s here but he’s not here.  He rejects the here, is unhappy with it, wants to be farther up the trail but when he gets there will be just as unhappy because then it will be ‘here’.  What he’s looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn’t want that because it is all around him.  Every step’s an effort, both physically and spiritually, because he imagines his goal to be external and distant.”  (Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance)

 

Can you be ‘fat’ and happy?  No doubt.

  

The questionable motivation of the ‘truth hurts’ message

My second argument is around the ‘motivational’ nature of messages like these.

First up: You cannot motivate a person with shame or guilt.  It just doesn’t help.

While there might be exceptions, research suggests people generally respond more favourably to messages focussed on making healthy behavioural changes than they do to negative content around being overweight^,[xiii].  The author’s “tender spot in my heart for fat girls in the process of doing something to change it”, is incredibly patronising.

Moreover, using the label ‘fat’ increases negative attitudes toward people compared with the label ‘overweight’^,[xiv].  And overweight people already face too much prejudice^,[xvi],[xvi].  Rather than motivate, the ‘truth hurts’ approach actually makes people more likely to become obese!^,[xvii]  And that’s not to mention what it does for their mental health.

The imagery accompanying the article: a picture of a person clawing at their own stomach, is also unhelpful.  What message does that convey?  Should we hate ourselves if we are overweight?  Does it make us unworthy?  Is self-loathing the way forward?

Attaching our self-worth to how we look is a bad idea.  Besides, we don’t say “I am a broken leg or I am cancer”.  Why do we say “I am fat?”  Excess body fat is something we have; not something we are.

Since self talk is so powerful, it’s important to choose your words carefully.  If you use destructive language, you’ll muddy your wisdom and create perceptions that can ruin your life.  (Baker & Stauth, What Happy People Know^,[xviii])

 

 

 

The dark side of health & fitness

Would losing weight mean an increase in the quality of a person’s life?  Quite possibly.  We know that several negative health outcomes are associated with overweight and obesity.^{,[xix],[xx],[xxi]}

But there is also a dark side to health and fitness.  In pursuit of the aesthetic ideal which we believe will ensure our happiness, it’s easy to fall into extreme behaviours.  Exercising for weight, tone, and attractiveness reasons is highly correlated disordered eating behaviour^,[xxii] and, in females, overall activity level is related to greater “eating disturbance”.

With that being said, the author’s boast that “For the first several months, I exclusively worked the fuck out, continued to work out, and worked out some more”, is a red flag and another questionable message to be spreading.

Perhaps it’s preferable to be fit, lean and healthy than to be overweight or unwell.  It’s great to improve the way we look, feel and perform.  But working in the health and fitness industry, I’m increasingly aware of a line.  There’s a line between improving our life and falling into an unhealthy obsession.

“The great source of both the misery and disorders of human life, seems to arise from over-rating the difference between one permanent situation and another… Some of those situations may, no doubt, deserve to be preferred to others: but none of them can deserve to be pursued with that passionate ardour which drives us to violate the rules either of prudence or of justice; or to corrupt the future tranquility of our minds, either by shame from the remembrance of our own folly, or by remorse from the horror of our own injustice.”  (Adam Smith, The Theory of Moral Sentiments, 1759)

 

Promoting change

If our goal is to inspire, motivate and facilitate change in overweight individuals, negative messages, imagery and anti-fat attitudes is not the way to do it.

It can be frustrating – especially wihen it’s those close to us – but people have to be ready to change.  Using shame or guilt in an attempt to motivate is unhelpful and potentially harmful.

Being overweight does not make a person unworthy.  And yes, you can be overweight and happy.

 

BIG IDEA 1: Happiness tends not to come from externals.

TAKEAWAY 1: Practising gratitude, kindness, creativity and trying new things promote happiness.  Happiness also comes through ‘flow’: a deep engagement with our task.  You can be ‘fat’ and happy.

BIG IDEA 2: You cannot motivate a person with shame or guilt.

TAKEAWAY 2: People respond more favourably to positive messages around health behaviours than negative, anti-fat attitudes and stigma.

ACTION STEP: Want to read more?  Click the button below to download the first chapter of my book.

 

Always Keep Reaching!

Mike

 

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