I admit it.  I can be a bit of a jerk sometimes.

Not cool.

It’s easily done when we discover new ideas or new philosophies.  All of a sudden we’re the ones ‘in the know’.  The enlightened ones.  Chances are we don’t actually recognise it, but we can become judgemental.  We get self-righteous.  We start being a jerk towards those who don’t fit our worldview.

Not cool.

Food snobbery

If you eat a healthy diet, great!  If you look down on those who do not, you’re being a jerk.  Eating organic foods doesn’t make you a better person than someone who eats pies and cakes.  Neither does being vegetarian or following the paleo diet.  It’s just food.

Ok, you might be healthier and happier (or you might be disordered), but everyone is doing the best with what they know.  And the chances are your seemingly genius belief system about food isn’t as clever as you think anyway.

I’ve been there.  Disrespecting friends and family members for their “toxic” food choices made me a jerk.  As it turns out I’m not as smart as I thought.  Thankfully, I don’t do that anymore.

“Respect the game, that should be it.  What you eat don’t make me sh*t.  Where’s the love?” (Jay-Z)

Not as enlightened as I like to think …even on a mountaintop in Peru.

Body shaming

Being in good shape doesn’t give you the right to criticise other people’s bodies.  Having six-pack abs doesn’t make you God.  And shaming someone for being underweight or overweight does nothing to help him or her change.  In fact, rather than motivate, weight discrimination actually increases risk for obesity^[i].

Besides, it’s possible to be overweight and still be healthy^[ii].  And just because we’re of ‘normal’ weight, doesn’t mean we’re healthy.  And it certainly doesn’t prevent us from acting like a jerk.

There’s also a tendency to bash other people’s methods for change.  As a personal trainer I get frustrated when I see lousy and ineffective training techniques in the gym.  But at least people are trying!  It’s better than sitting on their backside!  What’s more, it’s not like my own training style has always been perfect.  I’ve altered things as I’ve learned.  And I bet I will continue to do so.

Positivity & Self-righteousness

I’m a bit of a personal development junkie.  I love to learn and grow.  I love to chase dreams down and try to improve as a person.  That’s me.  It took me the longest time to recognise that that’s not necessarily everybody else.

When we get into personal development, it’s easy to start criticising everybody else.  Sure, I prefer to surround myself with upbeat, likeminded people – I believe it’s important.  But that doesn’t mean I should force my worldview on those who aren’t as driven or ambitious as I am.

If your partner or friends or family are “just too negative all the time”, take a second to consider that maybe it’s you who is being the jerk.

“People were always talking about how mean this guy was who lived on our block.  But I decided to go see for myself.  I went to his door, but he said he wasn’t the mean guy, the mean guy lived in that house over there.  “No, you stupid idiot,” I said, “that’s my house.” (Jack Handy)

Being right

Aaaah, the need to be right.  The compulsion to correct people.  I still mess up with this one.  Nit-picking over trivial things.  Losing sight of what’s really important in an effort to ‘win’ an argument.

Guess what?  Even if you win, you probably lose.

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent.  People know this, and steer clear of me at parties.  Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.”  (Dave Barry)

BIG IDEA: When we discover new ideas and philosophies, it’s easy to become self-righteous and judgemental towards those who don’t share our worldview.

TAKEAWAY: Everybody is doing the best with what they know.  And the chances are what you ‘know’ isn’t necessarily the truth for everybody else.  Stop being a jerk.

ACTION STEP: Think of a time when you thought you were 100% right about something only to later change your view.  Share in the comments below!

Always Keep Reaching!

Mike