Have you ever been inspired to do something only to …do nothing? Have you ever felt like you’re operating below your potential? That you’ve got more to give?
Have you ever caught yourself looking on with envy as someone else chases their dreams down?
“I’d love to… but… If only I could…”
There are many reasons why we don’t pursue our dreams. Some are legitimate too. There are some opportunities that you’ve missed and it’s quite simply too late now. Too bad. Or perhaps you’ve got responsibilities that mean you cannot do what you really want to do. I get it. I live in the real world too.
On the other hand, maybe you just won’t admit to yourself that there is something you’d like to have, do, be or achieve. Maybe you just don’t believe you can do it.
In my opinion, here are some of the worst reasons not to do something.
Out of reach?
- I don’t know how
Guess what? You can learn. With the Internet, you can learn almost anything nowadays. And often for free. It’s never been quicker or easier to get your hands on tools and information to help you learn a new skill.
You can learn to cook, draw or ski. You can learn a new language. You can learn new skills that will help your career or your relationships. You can reach out and find a mentor or a coach. You can get help.
I had no idea how I was going to build this website or publish a book. I don’t have programming or publishing skills. Heck, I didn’t now how best to cook the Christmas dinner last year. I googled it. I learned.
- But I’m no good at it
Ok, you’ve tried and you suck. You’re off the hook, you can settle in the safety of your comfort zone now. Too bad you weren’t born gifted like…
…Wait a minute. What’s that thing called? …oh yeah …practice!
The 10,000 hour rule might be debated. But there is research to suggest that ‘genius’ level ability comes more from practice than from innate gifts[i].
So while you might have some genuine limitations that prevent you from being the best of the best, you can improve, you can get better. Every master was once a disaster. So before you write yourself off as being no good at something, I dare you to put in the hours of practice.
It will be messy in the beginning; it always is. It’s like learning to walk, you’ll fall. A lot. But I challenge you to suffer for it. To earn it.
Making art hurts. But it’s better than the alternative. (Seth Godin, The Icarus Deception)
- The time isn’t right/It’ll take to long
We all know the time will never be right to tackle that project or learn that skill. Chasing dreams down is damn inconvenient. There’s always something.
We also let the calendar dictate to us. Because we know that starting something on a Thursday, or in the last quarter of the year would be crazy talk. It’s Mondays or January only for me.
Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance because it’s the easiest to rationalize. We don’t tell ourselves, “I’m never going to write my symphony.” Instead we say, “I’m going to write my symphony; I’m just going to start tomorrow.” (Steven Pressfield, The War of Art)
Think it’ll take too long to get to where you want to be? Just remember, the time will pass anyway.
What are you afraid of?
- Fear
Whether we admit it or not, the biggest reason we don’t follow through on what we’d love to do is fear. The other reasons are mostly justifications to protect ourselves from admitting we’re afraid.
You’re afraid you might fail. You’re afraid you won’t be good enough, strong enough or pretty enough. You’re afraid of the opinions of others. You’re afraid of being judged, embarrassed or made to look foolish. You’re afraid you’ll let yourself or others down.
I am too. Actually all of this post applies to me. I struggle. Everybody struggles. I get to meet and work with a number of very different people and one thing I’ve learned is that everybody has insecurities.
A lion in the business world might become a mouse in the weight room. The strongest person in the gym might crumble if asked to give a speech. The one who, from the outside, seems to have it all together is likely struggling behind the scenes. That’s life.
Fear doesn’t go away. You just have to get used to it. It’s not easy, but if we recognise that we’re all in the same boat, we can let go of that need to appear flawless. We can give ourselves permission to fail.
The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows that there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist. (Steven Pressfield)
BIG IDEA: The more we recite our excuses; the more we believe them to be true.
TAKEAWAY: You can do it. Yes, the timing isn’t right. And fear is always present. But, your biggest failure? “Amazingly it’s not that great thing you did with good intent that ended in disaster. No, your biggest failure is the thing you dreamed of contributing but didn’t find the guts to do.” (Seth Godin, The Icarus Deception)
ACTION STEP: Want more from me? Check out my book, Energy Is Everything: Mindset, Nutrition & Exercise for the best version of you. It’s available on Amazon in paperback and on Kindle.
Always Keep Reaching!
Mike
References
[i] The role of deliberate practice in the acquisition of expert performance.Ericsson, K. Anders; Krampe, Ralf T.; Tesch-Römer, Clemens. Psychological Review, Vol 100(3), Jul 1993, 363-406. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.100.3.363
